lovely bones

again:

rushing down corridors, and through open doors, and never sleeping well, running lull on the treadmill, miles in a null neutral, on auto-pilot, thinking of nothing and everything all at the same time. and wanting something but not knowing what it is. maybe the morning will be better, than this sleepless night. an orange in my hand, and caffeine in my soul. a piece of yesteryear, a slice of pie on the counter. not in my stomach. but in my mind. and then, humming fridge, the trickle down of the tap dripping. i'm glad its not silent, that would be eerie. healthy democracies, background music, my humming eardrum, the distance between. here and there, nowhere. and happiness, somehow. a smile in the darkness. a 5 minute nap. a single piece of paper on my bedroom floor. random thoughts. an agglomeration of useless words. procrastinations. and the wish for lovely bones.