i ignore

is it true that this could kill me?
one true lovely referred to it as holding your breath
she is beautifully and terrifyingly violently correct
i hold and hold. my breath inside.
and when i reach the finish line (the line i set for myself)
i realize that my ambitions hadn't been reaching far enough. so i gasp
i extend my shaking hand forwards
i drop my sanity onto the ground, which is moving beneath my feet
i push forwards
for another breath
and i hold the air in
and keep going
afraid that if i stop i'll loose what i have
so i keep going
trying to be better
trying to find a perfectly straight line
taking a breath when i need it
letting it out only when i have to
this foggy mildew pink pill
one white, no more blue.
dissolving with my over extension.
with a sip of water
with a sigh for air