f.b.h

f b h
i hate you
i hate the way i feel when i see your name
it makes me shiver
stomach turning
beauty and bestiality
synonymous: love and hatred
like birds and bees
my knees
buckle
my heart shatters
sinks
my mind pulls in two: dichotomies
and i scream
when i know you give her gifts
and beg for her back
she is smart to leave you (reducing her own heartache)
with your hands full of sorrows
alone, lonely